What is a Pedophile?
What is a pedophile? A molester? Perhaps. Someone you trust? Likely. A real danger to my child? No doubt.
The word “pedophile” carries all kinds of meanings– but sometimes the actual term gets lost in social slang.
You can read the
but in short, pedophiles are adults addicted to fantasies of molesting children.
Did you know that not all child molesters are pedophiles? These two terms are often used interchangeably – but that isn't always correct.
Criminal Or Not?
Officially, pedophiles are not criminals when they only experience the desire to molest.
When they act on their sexual interest, then they become criminals.
Until then, he is technically just a citizen with “issues”, someone who daydreams about erotic encounters with kids.
But that doesn’t make him a criminal. After all, he is only thinking about it... right?
Not in my book. History shows time and again that thoughts become actions. In other words, if they haven’t molested a kid yet chances are they will.
But to really understand what is a pedophile, we need to get one thing clear – official definition versus slang interpretation of the word “pedophile”.
Many legal officials loosely use the term “pedophile” to refer to anyone and everyone who has exploited or molested kids. That tends to happen when the majority of society does the same thing.
Despite common acceptance of this loose reference, it is discouraged because it can be misleading or flat out false.
Why? Because not all child molesters are pedophiles… and not all pedophiles are child molesters.
So what's the difference? What is a pedophile if not a child molester? Let me explain.
Pedophiles VS Child Molesters
See the difference? It is subtle, but it is there.
The difference is a pedophile sexually prefers kids. He may not have acted on his fantasies. He may only be looking at child pornography (which is child exploitation not molestation) or just watching the 5 year old next door.
But until he makes contact, he is not a child molester.
Ok. Let me explain a bit further.
There are two kinds of child molesters – those who would choose kids over adults, and those who are just abusive to anyone.
If the offender would choose to sexually abuse a child over an adult, he is a "preferential child molester”.
He probably has a history of molesting kids, or holds major characteristics of a pedophile. Therefore, the preferential child molester is both a molester and a pedophile.
The other kind of offender doesn’t care if his victim is a kid or not. He has a habit of molesting, but not specifically molest kids.
This sex-offender is generally abusive to everyone, known to molest or harass other people he knows (spouses, co-workers,…). He is a child molester, but not a pedophile.
In this case, he would be called a "situational child molester". He just happened to take out his abusive temperament on a child and got caught.
Why do me mix them up so much?
Let’s be honest, who really likes studying child molesters? You’re here because you care… not because this is fun.
And when a child molester makes the news, the media doesn’t bother to make a distinction. It’s not usually important to the story.
The Guilty Pedophile
Most convicted pedophiles are in jail for 1-3 molestations, but are usually responsible for so many more – sometimes hundreds more.
Don’t believe me? Check the statistics for yourself!
Most pedophiles aren’t even discovered until after several victims come forward. Even then, children are ignored...
“Oh, she must be making it up for attention...”
...and the abuse continues.
If someone was actually convicted for child molesting, it was because they were careless in their latest molestations.
Pedophiles are careful not to get caught. They cover their tracks well.
What Is A Pedophile's Biggest Tool Of Deception? YOU
What’s the easiest way to gain access to kids without parents suspecting? Secure the parents’ confidence before doing anything else!
Makes sense, doesn’t it?
If the pedophile is a math tutor, would you question his time alone with your son? If she’s a close friend of yours, wouldn’t you trust her to watch the kids for an hour or two? If he coaches your daughter’s volleyball team... well, you get the idea.
The point is that these monsters sneak into your child’s life, and then haunt them forever.
As they continue to hide behind the mask of coach, teacher, family friend, aunt or uncle, they can postpone any detection of their dirty secret.
Why Don't Kids Tell?
Pedophiles convince the child to allow them to molest. It's surprisingly effective.
Sometimes convincing the child is easy enough because of their relationship with the child – family member, teacher, or friend. They explain that this isn’t molestation, "it is showing love”.
Sometimes they threaten victims’ lives or the lives of their loved ones.
Sometimes they tell outright lies, like “this is normal”, or put guilt on the child. “It’s your fault you are being molested”... as if the child deserves it.
Deception like this is why kids don’t report abuse.
Then if the child is brave enough to speak up – and that’s a big IF - all the predator has to do is be that close family friend. Be a good uncle. Be a successful business man with integrity and a winning smile.
That is when parents turn and say, “Certainly it couldn’t be him. There must be some mistake.”
Authorities ask the kid, “Are you sure you aren’t making this up?”
The predator tells everyone, “She’s just trying to get attention. This will pass.”
People want to believe in the good of others. But that is where we must not falter. Trust your child. Kids don’t make that up.
If your child comes to you with news like this, report it.
What is a pedophile's worst nightmare? Again, it's YOU.
When you take action against an offender, you become your child's best advocate. The sex offender may regret it - but you won't.
So what is a pedophile?
He or she is a molester in the mind - a child predator that finds kids sexually irresistible. He suffers from a real mental illness that occurs when adults or older teens turn to children for sexual pleasure.
He is the monster that hides his ugly face behind the mask of a person you and I would trust.
Punishable? Only if caught.
Judging from the statistics, you wouldn’t be far off to think that most pedophiles ARE criminals. Their dirty deeds just haven’t been discovered... yet.
Now that you know what is a pedophile, learn how
you can protect your child
from their often convincing charade.
Return from What is a Pedophile? to The Child Predator.
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