"Don't Pose To Attract Kids"
And Other Secrets Of Internet Pedophiles
Internet pedophiles are the “big bad wolf” of the online world. Parents are afraid of them, and for good reason. But are they the biggest threat? How can you tell if your kid is in trouble? Is your kid even a target?
That depends on your child and it depends on you.
Should I Be Worried?
Mmm, I wouldn’t say worried.
Cautious? Yes - especially if you have a teenager.
Online pedophiles look for teens. Particularly, they want teens who don’t get along with their parents, who have troubled lives or depression - that sort of stuff.
Why those kids?
Simple really. You can see their weaknesses easier. If you know their weaknesses, you can manipulate them better.
But there is an exception to every rule. In other words, the kids withOUT depression, withOUT troubled lives are not immune.
They just aren’t the typical target.
Why not? It’s not as easy to manipulate a mentally-sound and socially-healthy kid.
Internet pedophiles want an easy target. Someone who needs attention or wants to be “grown-up”.
The ones I worry about are the rebellious teens. The ones who visit “adult” chat rooms, who seek out pornography or sex online. They look for excitement, maybe even a little romance in the virtual world.
And when you look for trouble, it will come to meet you.
How Dangerous Are Internet Pedophiles?
That depends too.
If they can’t physically touch your child, then they play damaging mind games. These have long term effects, as you'll read here soon.
Pedophiles get physically dangerous when they figure out where your kid is… which isn’t hard to do.
Your child doesn’t even have to post her address or phone number… just mention the name of her school or the park she went to on Friday night. He does an online search and he’s knows where she is.
From there, finding your child is just a process of elimination.
Once found, the bad guys can choose their next move – abduction, rape, or even murder.
Now don’t panic!!! That’s not the norm for internet pedophiles.
About 5% or less of online child victimization stems from kids posting their personal contact information.
At that rate, identity theft is a bigger problem!
Instead, internet pedophiles try to coax your kid into doing something sexual.
If they can accomplish that, then your teen is more willing to meet and more willing to participate. And no one wants to tell on themselves. So who’s going to tell parents?
You guessed it. Nobody.
What Is Their Big Secret?
Pose as a teen, pretend to be someone else… right?
It’s a lot of work for 40-year-old pedophiles to successfully pose as 14-year olds. For most, it’s too much work.
Internet pedophiles don’t want to trick kids. And they don’t have to.
How do they do it? Trust.
How Do They Build Trust?
It’s a slow process. Here’s how it starts:
Internet pedophiles log on to chat rooms and social media places. They look for kids in their favorite age group (usually teens and preteens), and then befriend them.
Kids know that they are talking to a 40-year-old man. There’s no deception there.
After a week or two, the child feels that she and this man have a pretty good friendship.
This is how he learns which kids are attention-starved. He knows whose parents “don’t care”. He knows which kids are looking for adventure and who are just curious about “adult” things.
Bingo! New prospects.
- Nurture (or “Groom”) The Child
He builds up his target – “you are so mature for your age” or “I just love talking with you” or “I understand. I wish I could hug you.”
Then he starts to ask her personal questions… even sexual questions. If she jumps in, he knows he has a good target.
As time goes on, “hugs” turn to more explicit things. “I like you” turns to “I love you”.
The internet pedophile is open about his intentions. He doesn’t hide the fact that he too is looking for a little excitement.
He tells her he loves her and wants to be intimate with her… and she buys into it.
After all, here’s an adult who takes her seriously. He’s older, more mature. Certainly he wouldn’t play games with her!…
…well actually, he would. He just hopes that parents are not onto his game.
If the “in-love” vibe doesn’t click, that’s ok. Pedophiles are willing to go a more intellectual route. He offers to “educate” her about “mature” topics… which usually means molestation in one way or another.
He might send pornographic pictures, maybe even a graphic video of himself.
Why use pornography?
It opens young minds to “new sexual possibilities”. Basically it prepares teens to be molested and think it is normal or “cool”.
That’s a typical approach to lure in boys. The “in-love” route usually works better with girls.
Then when the predator knows the boy is interested or that the girl is convinced of their love, he sets up a time and way to meet.
Predators like to wait until parents are out of the house. Then he can just come over and “love” her in the comforts of her own home.
And the consequences are tragic.
When you see the research, you see that kids who are sexually abused have major issues to deal with later.
Families fall apart. Romantic relationships are abusive, if they exist. Pornography addictions lead kids to seclusion. They are ostracized by friends. Sometimes the victim begins victimizing others.
Not to mention all the personal guilt and shame that inevitably follows. I was surprised to learn how many teens go looking for sex, get it and then feel terrible. Depression, alcohol, and memories haunt them for years.
Internet pedophiles are very dangerous. But they can be avoided.
Is there a 100% guarantee? Of course not. But you can deter most of them when your kids learn and understand
internet safety for teens.
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