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The Female Pedophile label sure had me duped. For a long time, I didn’t realize that more existed outside the perverted teacher/lover group that we keep hearing about on the news.
Most studies of convicted predators say female pedophiles aren’t as common as males. Then again, most professionals haven’t really focused on researching female predators until recently.
Back in 1984, a study done by Finkelhor & Russell estimated that about 5% of female children and 20% of male children exposed to sexual predation were abused by women. More recent research among victims suggests that the rate of female predation is alarmingly higher than we thought back then.
But we’ve always known that female pedophilia is the most under-reported type of child molestation.
So who knows how many are really out there?
Men tend to use more physical coercion while women are more emotionally manipulative in their sexual abuse. But women can be just as elusive as male pedophiles – their damage just as severe.
It’s important not to ever underestimate a female pedophile just because of her gender.
Officials typically break female offenders down into one of three different categories:
Each category is surprisingly different in their motives and feelings toward their victims.
This category is for women who molest kids ages 6 and under. These women really should be split into 2 subcategories: those who were victimized by their own parents (prey turned to predator), and those who were never victimized but simply find sexual pleasure in molesting children (self-made pedophile).
In all cases, women in Category 1 tend to be very sadistic - they get satisfaction from their victim’s pain.
Female pedophiles who were victimized as kids usually target their own children. As she abuses, she relives all the horrible things she experienced from her childhood and begins to hate her own victim more and more. The abuse grows more frequent and more sadistic.
When the child is disobedient – just like any child is – the female pedophile sees it as deliberate maliciousness or rebellion. Sexual abuse becomes a means of revenge or punishment.
Many times, her child is an unwanted child.
Why wouldn’t she want her own kid? Here are just a couple of reasons: Incest. Rape. Sometimes the reason is shallow: “Your dad left me because you were a girl and not a boy.”
Crazy as that sounds, you can read examples of this in Jacqui Saradjian’s book - Women Who Sexually Abuse Children.
The female pedophile who finds sexual satisfaction in children has different reasons for molesting altogether. She molests whatever target is convenient, her own children or others.
When looking for victims outside her home, this woman finds ways to groom both parents and child. She becomes a trusted babysitter, friend, and confidant.
Then she finds ways to be alone with her victim, abuse them, confuse them, and send them back home. She manipulates the child to believe that the abuse is “normal” or that “this is how people show they care”.
Some women fit both A & B subcategories – they were abused as children AND fantasize about sexual encounters with other children.
These women claim to see molestation as a way of connecting with the child. She justifies it as "loving" her child the way her mother or father did.
Regardless of how she may try to validate herself, she is still a child molester and a predator of the most sadistic kind.
NOTE: Let’s be clear - just because a child is molested doesn’t mean they will grow up to be a molester. And just because someone wasn’t molested as a kid doesn’t mean they won’t molest kids as an adult. And when someone is abused as a child, it is a terrible injustice – but it is no excuse for continuing the abuse.
The teacher-lovers tend to fall into this category. They are the ones you generally hear about on the news… like Mary Kay Leutrineau, the famous female pedophile who mothered 2 of her student’s kids (the father was 12 years old by the way).
These women truly personify the pedophile definition. She romanticizes her victims, overlooking or denying any faults or negatives. The child is her “ideal partner” and “better” than other kids the same age.
“We are on the same maturity level. We understand each other.”
These predators typically lack self-esteem, are co-dependent and afraid of rejection. If the child doesn’t do something she wants him to do, she blames herself in a manipulative way against the child.
She fools herself with thoughts that if the child doesn’t want to be intimate, it’s because she didn’t please the child in some way - not enough gifts, not enough affection, not enough… whatever.
To get the child to do what she wants, she increases the amount of attention, affection and gifts until she can coerce the child into a sexual encounter. For some that even means supplying the kids with drugs or alcohol.
Some women threaten the child who won’t comply with the predator’s deluded dreams of sexuality. These threats are less physical and more emotional. She may threaten to tell lies to the child’s parents, to humiliate the child in front of peers, or to withhold good grades… in the case of a teacher.
But this coercion is almost inevitably followed up with lavish affection and presents.
Sometimes the female pedophile believes she has found a "mutually consenting" sexual relationship between adult and child, but in most cases she is wrong.
Women in this category typically have a romantic relationship with someone (typically male) who is also a child molester. To keep the relationship, she may participate in child molestation, or at least help her partner get his victims.
Sometimes she instigates the sexual abuse to keep her partner happy.
This woman’s nature tends to be very needy, easily manipulated, and overly co-dependent.
Some women are pressured into it. She starts out by trying to please her partner. Her partner coercively insists on her molesting or he is going to leave. She’s needy enough that the very thought of her partner leaving is worse than anything else in the world. So she will molest just to keep him around.
The fact that she would put her romance above a child’s well-being makes her very dangerous.
Other women need no coercion. A woman like that generally molests alone as well as with her partner.
A common example is a mother who feels her daughter has a better sexual relationship with the husband (or boyfriend, or father, or…) than the mother does. Her feelings of competition and jealousy influence the mother to abuse the child on her own while the husband is not around to abuse.
Another example is that of a woman who views children as an annoyance, a frustration, or even simply as a tool.
One woman, looking for love online, offered her baby as a sex toy hoping it would be incentive enough for him to come meet her in person. The baby wasn’t even a year old.
The worst part is that it worked!! Poor baby. Thank heaven these creeps were caught.
...is harder to come by. Why?
When it comes to court, women get off easier than men. It’s wrong, but it’s that simple.
Dr. Anna Salter, author of Predators, says a female pedophile doesn't get tried in court as often and is harder to convict than male predators simply because no one wants to “believe that women, particularly the child’s own mother, could do such a thing.”
I don’t want to believe it either… but I know it’s true.
Even the news media uses words like “had sex with” or “affair” instead of the appropriate words – “rape” or “molestation”.
And if child molestation turns to murder, the female pedophile wrongfully gets off easier than the male pedophile.
Going back to Jacqui Saradjian’s work - she says that the molestation of the child before the child’s death is played down, sometimes even ignored.
If she is charged – and that is a big IF – she likely won’t be charged with molestation. Nope. She will only be charged with infanticide, manslaughter or murder.
For decades, society refused the thought that women could ever hurt a child that way. But the public’s view is finally beginning to change toward the female pedophile.
People are finally becoming more aware of them, more conscious of their tactics and their abusive impact on children. And as new research continues to pepper us with higher numbers of female predators, that awareness will continue to rise.
Here are some real life examples convicted predators - both male & female.
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